


SWING IT

by Bonniebird17



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M, Love, Modern AU, NSFW, Swingers???, What kind of party is this?, not THAT kind of happy ending, smut did happen, smut is expected
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2019-06-24 12:07:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15630381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonniebird17/pseuds/Bonniebird17
Summary: Claire Randall needs to attend her husband, Franks boss party, irritated she do as told but the big surprise is when she gets there, she has to leave her key by the door.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU @abbydebeaupreposts for being beta on this story, i love you.❤️

 

_ “Damn you Frank” _ Claire cursed quietly to herself. Frank was downstairs waiting for her. And because  of the mood she was in right now, she was getting ready slowly. Hoping he would get as irritated as she was.

 

Claire and Frank were newlyweds, this was their first month as Mrs and Mr Randall. It should have been the happiest time of her life, but since they got married and Frank began his new job, and he’d  changed. Maybe it was the pressure from work or the fact that they were older, but life wasn’t turning out as she had expected.

 

Tonight Frank had promised they could stay in, order takeout and watch a movie. Since it was her turn to chose both restaurant and film, she’d been looking forward to this all week. But instead of laying down on her couch, dressed in her pajamas, eating chips, she was standing in her bedroom changing into less comfortable clothing. 

 

Frank’s new boss, Clarence Sandringham, had invited them to a party at his house. It was mandatory, that was what Frank claimed, bullshit, this was just Frank being the teacher's pet and he was making Claire go. His exact words had been,  “Claire I expect you to be a team player. I need you to put some makeup on, show that pretty face.”

 

Claire had refused at first, offended that he wanted to bring her like she was his trophy, his perfect little wifey. _ Idiot. _ But, marriage was about being part of a team and Claire caved. The problem was that he had started to bring up occasions were Claire had “forced” him to attend events for her work as well. The difference was that the events Frank was “forced” to go to were not dinner parties , but awards, where Claire had been nominated for prizes for  the articles she had published. 

 

Apparently, being a doctor wasn't seen as a "proper" career for a wife, at least according to the men Frank worked with. Wives were supposed to hold handbags, act as nothing more than stepford wives who kissed the ground their husbands walked upon.  That was the opposite to her, she was Dr Claire Beauchamp, now Randall. She had been a rising star, well known in the small medical community where they used to live but that was then, before she agreed to quit her job and move with Frank to Scotland. His dreams were their dream, or that was what he tried to convince her. This wasn’t her old, loving Frank, this was business Frank who wanted to climb the ladder to power. 

 

Frank was a lawyer and he wanted to make partner before he turned 40, that age was fast approaching. He needed to become part of the inner circle at Sandringham & Company. 

 

Clarence told him in no uncertain terms that he expected Frank to be the top rainmaker at the firm before his first anniversary and Frank was determined to exceed all expectations. This party was an important stepping stone toward that goal.

_ “Pretty  _ face.” Claire muttered, standing close to the mirror and putting on mascara. She wore a navy blue dress, very conservative. Blue buttons securely buttoned all the way from the middle up to her neck. She wanted to look as prud-like as possible, hoping his coworkers would see her as a perfect wife-- a perfectly boring wife so she'd not have to listen to them prattling on and on about regulations and procedural issues.

 

Claire walked down the stairs with heavy steps, making sure Frank saw how incredibly pissed she was that he was making her go.

 

“What are you wearing?” Frank asked with a frown on his face, scanning Claire from top to toe.

 

“What? I like this dress.” Claire felt satisfied, She knew Frank wanted her to wear something hot, show of his sexy wife.  _ I don’t thinks so Mr Randall. _

 

“Please, can’t you change?”

 

“No way in hell. You have two options Frank.” Claire held up one finger. “First one is, I go with you quietly now, wearing this and you can mingle around with me on your arm and I’ll be polite.”

 

“What is the second option?”

 

“Second is that I change into something more, “pretty” and I’ll be the worst damn person in the room.”

 

“You are acting childish, I don’t like when you behave like this.”

 

“ _ Childish _ ? I would say that I’m being very adult right now, the childish thing to do would’ve been  locking myself in the bathroom. What do you want from me? I’m here aren’t I?” 

 

“You better be in a better mood when we get there.” Frank shook his head disapprovingly and walked out of their house. It didn’t take long before she heard him get into the car. He slammed the door shut hard. Claire stayed a minute, she needed to  calm down before she walked out herself. 

 

The drive over to Clarence’s house was in silence, neither of them wanted to talk and Claire tried to convince herself that she only needed to stay for a short time, if necessary she could just find the champagne and drown herself in it. That would probably make this more fun.

 

The streets were filled with expensive cars parked all the way up to the house. The closer they came, Claire could really see how big it was. It was more like a mansion. Clarence Sandringham seemed to be rich, filthy rich. That made Claire nervous, she hadn’t expected it to be this big of a party.

 

Frank rang the doorbell, a ridiculous long tone played and the door opened. The man who opened it was obviously a butler, holding a big bowl.

 

“Keys please.” The Butler said and almost pushed the bowl up their faces. Claire shot a confused look over to Frank. But he wasn’t as surprised as her, handing over the keys without comment. 

 

“Claire, just do it.” He whispered and Claire did as told. Her keychain disappeared in the ocean of others and the Butler welcome them inside.

 

“What’s going on.” Claire asked when they walked down the long hall.

 

“Don’t freak out. Just smile and mingle and we will be fine.”

 

“What do you mean don’t freak out. Why did I have to leave my keys?” 

 

“Rumour has it that Clarence likes to have different themes at his party. But, I thought he was kidding.” Frank started to look nervous himself and Claire was slowly understanding what he was saying. They saw couples here and there making out.  Claire couldn’t hide her shock. 

 

“Are you serious? Is this a swingers party?”

 

“I believe it is.” Frank was starting to look paler the closer they got to the music.

 

“So, we are supposed to fuck other people.” Claire was furious. She stopped before the closed door, the last hall.

 

“No, of course not. But just pretend that we are cool with it. ”

 

Claire’s mind was racing with different thoughts, if she should just leave or actually do what he said. The worst part was that Frank had known what they were getting into all along.  He’d wanted her to wear sexy outfits for his coworkers to stare at. Frank wasn’t the man she’d thought he was, and she wondered if their marriage vows meant less to him than his ambition. Claire decided she wanted to punish him for making her do this.  _ If you want me to act, goddamn you I’m going to. _

 

Without saying anything more, she pushed past him and walked into the party. It was a ballroom, chandeliers hanging from the ceilings, big round tables with people talking and laughing with each other. Some were on the dance floor. 

 

Claire was relieved that this seemed like a ordinary party, she had never attended a swingers party and honestly, she had expected them all to be naked, strippers dancing everywhere. A man who obviously was wearing a wig, was walking over to her, he fit Frank description, Mr Clarence Sandringham. Claire disliked him already and he was looking directly at her, not at Frank who now stood beside her.

 

“Claire, just behave.” He whispered, seconds before Clarence was in front of them.

“Ah. Frank, how nice to see you here.” Clarence said, still looking at Claire. “And you didn’t say that your wife was this beautiful.” 

 

“Mr Sandringham, thank you for inviting us, this is my wife Claire.” Frank said polite.  _ Fucking idiot. _ Claire thought.

 

“ _ Claire _ .” Clarence took her hand and brought it up to his mouth, he kissed it long, too long.

 

“Mr Sandringham..”

 

“Please. Call me Clarence.” He interrupted Claire. “We are all getting to know each other tonight best we skip the formality.

 

“Right. Well I should go and find myself something to drink then.” Claire wanted as much space from Frank and Clarence as possible.

 

Claire walked straight towards the hard stuff and poured herself a glass of whiskey, then one more. 

 

“Thirsty lass?” A man appeared next to her. 

 

Claire was rolling her eyes internally, already sick of this and she turned her head. The man was surprisingly tall and she needed to tilt her head up. His ocean blue eyes struck her instantly, she was surprised by the kindness she saw in them and his smile was contagious. 

 

“Uhm, Yes.” Claire answered dumbly, forgetting all about were she was.

 

“You and me both. Jamie Fraser” he said, reaching out his hand and Claire took it. 

 

“Claire.” she introduced herself and Jamie still held onto her hand. “Do you work at Sandringham and Company?” She quickly added and carefully took her hand away, feeling a bit flushed. Maybe it was the whisky or the glorious man in front of her.

 

“No, my wife does.” 

 

“Oh really? And all of this?” Claire asked, feeling curious about his intentions. 

 

“I dinna have much choice. But I must say that things are starting to get interesting.” Jamie said and winked.

 

Claire looked down at her dress and she started to wish she had chosen something else to wear. Of course she wasn’t planning on actually having sex with anyone here, but she couldn’t ignore how intrigued she was by this man. 

 

“And how about you Claire?” The way he said her name was like music to her ears, it sounded better coming from his lips.

 

“I just moved here with my husband Frank.” She said and started searching for him. Claire had forgotten all about  him the minute Jamie started talking.

 

“Ah. Mrs Randall, then. You are not what I expected his wife would look like.” Jamie said smiling, that part caught her attention again and she stopped looking for Frank.

 

“What did you expect?”

 

“Less.” 

 

“Less what?” 

 

“You seems to be very different from you husband. Not to offend your husband but you are definitely out of his league.”

 

“And  _ where _ is Mrs Fraser?” Claire asked curiously, she had no expectations but she wanted to see the woman who was lucky enough to have this man. 

 

Jamie turned around and searched the room, Claire followed his eyes and it didn’t take long before she understood who his wife was. There was a blonde woman standing on the other side of the room, staring at them. 

 

“Laoghaire.” Jamie answered short, not sound enthusiastic at all about his young bride.

 

“She is beautiful, but she doesn’t seem that happy about being here either.” 

 

Claire felt less attractive when she looked at Laoghaire, she was younger than her and she got a bit envious. She took a big sip of her whisky, reminded herself that she was married, she didn’t know what the rules were but she was pretty sure that you didn’t get to choose your own partner. _shit,_ Claire was sounding like she really was considering this. 

 

“I would  _ guess _ she’s not that happy about me talking to you of all people.”

 

“Why me?” Claire asked, surprised, she had never met Laoghaire before. Why would she be the problem. 

 

Jamie leaned down, his face closed to hers and he whispered in her ear. “Because  _ you _ are the most beautiful lass in the room. If I were Frank, I would never have taken you here. But lucky for me, he did” 

 

Claire’s heart starting beating faster, he was standing so close she could almost taste the whisky from his breath, momentarily she forgot that she was standing in a room full of people, only seeing him. Claire swallowed hard, she was not prepared for this.

 

“ _ Everyone _ . If I can have your attention please.” Clarence’s voice brought her back and Jamie backed away. 

 

The crowd moved from each corner to the middle where Clarence was standing, holding the bowl of keys.  _ Shit, already?.  _ Claire thought and walked slowly, she couldn’t see Frank anywhere. It was definitely time to go. 

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, I am so please that you are all here tonight. This will go accordingly, I will take out two random keys from this bowl, the owners will receive a note, upon which your rooms will be written. We do not trade and what happens in that room is up to you.” Clarence said loud enough for everyone to hear.

 

_ Shit,shit,shit _ . Claire was starting to panic. Frank was nowhere to be found and there was no way she could leave the room unnoticed. 

 

Claire decided she would at least try to sneak out in a minute, after the first keys had been picked. 

 

“And who is the lucky owner of this.” Clarence held up a keychain.  _ Four keys and a red ribbon. _ Every one looked at each other, curious who the owner was, Claire took a deep breath.  _ Of course I had to be the first. _

 

_ “That’s  _ mine.” She reached her hand up in the air, absolutely dreading who she was going to paired up with.

 

“Lovely, come here Claire.” 

 

People stepped aside, making an path for her and she needed to force herself to move. This was not the plan, the strangers were smiling and when Claire took her place next to Clarence she wanted to faint. 

 

“And your lucky date is..” Clarence digged deep into the bowl and Claire hoped that he miraculously would chose Franks.  _ No, _ that wasn’t his.

 

“Who does this belongs to?” He waved the keys into the air. Claire looked at the crowd, waiting for the owner to claim his keys.

 

“Mine.” 

 

All the panic she had felt washed away. Jamie walked slowly toward her, was it luck or fate that intervene, what  were the odds? She could see that he was hiding his emotions, but his eyes were burning into hers. Claire wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but she forgot all about leaving. 

 

_ Room 12 _ . Their note said in golden letters and people started applauded when they was ushered away from the crowd. Jamie’s hand low on her back, her heart beating with anticipation.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @abbydebeaupreposts thank you for beta this chapter ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I’m sure you already have read her story’s, but if haven’t, do it! She is the queen

They didn’t speak at all when they walked out of that room, nor down the long hall and up the stairs. Jamie never moved his hand away from her back, it was both calming and terrifying at the same time. Claire had meant to punish Frank for taking her here, but this wasn’t what she had planned. This was taking it too far,  but she still couldn’t stop her feet from moving toward the room. 

 

_ Room 12,  _ based on the size of this mansion, Claire wasn’t surprised when she saw how big the room was. The grey walls were decorated with silver flowers. Someone had already made the setting romantic by lighting candles.  _ What am I doing?  _ Claire thought when she looked at the king size bed in front of her. On it stood a big white box with a red ribbon. What it contained, she didn’t dare to look.

 

Jamie closed the door, the sound startled her and she jumped. “Claire, we are not going to do anything you’re not comfortable with. Sit. Relax.  We can just talk. ” Jamie motioned for her to sit down on the bed, she nodded shyly.

 

Jamie was obviously giving her space and he sat down on a chair across the room. 

 

“How long are we supposed to be in here?” Claire asked, still not knowing how these kinds of things worked.

 

“Do ye think I do this regularly?” Jamie seemed to find it amusing and started laughing.

 

“For all I know, you and the Mrs. do this all the time.” Claire said, the mention of his wife made him stop laughing.    His smile slowly faded into something else. His face was unreadable, was he sad? Hurt?

 

“I can assure you, I have never done anything like this before.” Jamie said. 

 

“Which part?” Claire asked, wondering if he meant the swingers party or the fact that he was hitting on her downstairs before. 

 

“All of it, until I met you just minutes ago, I thought I would just grit my teeth and figure out a way to leave unnoticed.”

 

“And how did that change when you met me?” Claire was curious. He was being so open with her and they’d only just met. 

 

“The second I saw you, I wanted you. Everything else paled in comparison.” Jamie’s face was completely serious. Claire’s eyes started to water.  Frank, who supposedly loved her, never spoke with such intimacy about his feelings for her. How could a stranger make her feel like this? 

 

“But---”

 

“You don’t have to say anything back Claire. I’m not going to jump on you, I’m just happy to be here with you;  I’d like to get to know you better.” Jamie interrupted her.

 

“But what about your wife?.” Even as Claire asked, she knew for she found herself thinking exactly as he did, almost from the moment their eyes met. She was a  _ married  _ woman and that thought made it hard for her to voice her feelings as easily as Jamie. 

 

“I...I fear what I shall say will make me sound callous. I cared about her but we didna marry for love. Our families go way back.  We found ourselves in our last year of school and suddenly it was like everyone started getting engaged. We’d been dating for a time and it just seemed like what folk are supposed to do next. We’d never even lived together, just got marrit and surprised our families.  I kent it was a mistake within a few months. We havena been happy for a vera long time. We tried counselling but things got worse.” Jamie laughed at this but Claire could see how much pain he was in. “In fact, during our last session, our therapist asked whether we’d considered separating. Yer the first person I’ve told about it.” 

 

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be.And what about you? Are you and Frank happy?”

 

Claire hesitated at first, afraid that if she revealed her own truth, how difficult things were with her husband, he would move from that chair. “It has been hard lately, but we are making it work. ” She lied, still trying to put a brave face on it, not willing to admit just how terrible things had gotten in the last several weeks with Frank. .

 

“Good. That’s good.” Jamie sounded so sincere. Claire felt bad for lying especially when he’d been so open with her. 

 

They fell silent, and the atmosphere in the room grew unbearable. Neither of them spoke.  Claire didn’t know this man but she really wanted to and that just confused her. The thought of leaving him wasn’t on her mind. What they  _ should  _ be doing was obvious.  The room was meant for sex, with just a chair and a bed and that huge box, still covered lying there. The dim lighting made Jamie look even more beautiful and she tried to search for a deck of cards, a magazine…  something.

 

“So should we just talk, and leave in an hour?” Claire suggested.

 

“You are free to go now if you want Claire.” Jamie gave her a lopsided smile, making her heart beat faster.  _ This is ridiculous _ , the man was making her feel like a giddy teenager inside. 

 

“I want to stay.” Claire almost whispered it.  Everyone would assume that they’d been physical with each other.  Claire felt like she had already cheated anyway. 

 

Suddenly, they both heard voices coming from outside of the room. Lots of high giggles, a loud thud, it sounded like whoever the couple was, they were snogging up against theidoor. Bang. Bang. Claire couldn’t help but laugh. This was insane, here she was with an incredibly attractive man who wasn’t her husband-- at the request of her own husband who begged her to just “ _ Go with it, Claire” _ and instead of taking advantage of the situation, here she was listening to other people fucking against the door.

 

“Hope that isn’t someone I know.” Jamie started laughing too.   But when she thought about it, she wondered what Frank was doing. She swallowed hard. They hadn’t discussed this, of course.  Their marriage was traditional, monogamous and yet Frank had brought her here knowing what kind of party it was.

 

“Are you okay?” Jamie asked, concerned.

 

“I was thinking about Frank.”

 

“Are you afraid that he is doing something he shouldn’t do?”

 

“Well. Yes.”

 

“You said you guys were happy, I can’t imagine him doing anything to jeopardize that.”

 

“He has done it before.” Claire admitted, They had been together for six years but there had been an incident involving Frank and his secretary two years ago. 

 

“And you think he could do it again?”

 

“No. maybe, I don’t know.Yes.” Claire answered irritated, irrationally blaming Jamie for clouding her judgment; or maybe he just  made her aware of her own insecurities. 

 

“Do you want to go looking for him?”

 

“God no!” She said shuddering. “I wouldn’t know where to look. This place has too many rooms, I can’t go barging into them all. And what if I actually found him?” Claire rose from the bed and started pacing the room, unsure now. Was it better to know or pretend she didn’t suspect?   Should she find Frank and tell him they needed to go home before one of them did something they shouldn’t?

 

“Claire, can I ask you something?” Jamie watching her closely. 

 

“Yes.”

 

“If yer so happy, why are ye doubting?” 

 

Claire stopped and tried to come up with something to say. But the look in his eyes told her that her silence was answer enough.. 

 

“And if  yer so happy, then why are ye still here?” Jamie asked very carefully. 

 

“Because I wanted you.” Claire finally admitted. She’d tried to lie to herself, telling herself she was only trying to go along with everything, and maybe because she was interested in getting to know him, as a friend; but the more time she spent in that room with Jamie, she knew it was because she was feeling guilty, that she didn’t want to be with Frank but with him.

 

“Past tense?”’ Jamie joked, but Claire could see that he was actually nervous that it was.

 

“Do I really need to answer that?”

 

“No, but I canna hide how I feel about it.” Jamie smiled.  It was the biggest smile she’d seen since they walked into the room. It was contagious and she couldn’t help but return it.  When he looked at her like that, it was far too easy to forget all about Frank.

 

“But we are both married.” 

 

“Aye,but our own spouses brought us here and they both knew the score.  So is it really wrong? I mean this is a swingers party. People are supposed to cheat. What do you think they are doing even as we sit here talking?”

 

“Do you want to cheat on Laoghaire?”

 

“No.”

 

“Well there you go, there’s  your answer. Maybe your marriage isn’t that bad.”

 

“I canna say I  _ want _ to cheat on Laoghaire, but I can’t ignore how much I want  _ you _ . It doesna feel so much like cheating to me, knowing why I was brought here in the first place..”

 

“And then what?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Say we give in to this. What’s going to happen then?”

 

“You are taking this swingers thing too seriously, Claire.”

 

“Am I being too serious, it was you who went all poetic, saying that everything seemed pale in comparison.”

 

“True, but it’s obvious that you don’t want to leave your husband.  I dinna want to make the stakes so high. The truth is couples do this all the time, and they stay together. It doesna have to mean anything but a good time. It’s why people come to parties like this. When in Rome…..”

 

“That makes no sense, you can’t just say things like that and then expect me to forget it.”

 

“I’m not asking you to forget it”

 

“What are you asking?

 

“That we forget everyone outside this room and tonight is for us. We should do what we both want to do.”

 

“Oh, feeling bold are you now?” Claire found herself laughing, he looked so pleased with himself.

 

“Yeah, I’m going for it. Have nothing to lose.”

 

“And if i leave now?” She sounded a little breathless. 

 

“If you move towards the door, I would be vera tempted to try and to stop you.”

 

“How?” Yup, definitely breathless. 

 

“Well, now Sassenach, give it your best shot and I’ll show you.”

 

Claire bit her lower lip seductively and he watched her. She took a step closer to the door, wanting to see what reaction she would get and as she had hoped Jamie was fast up on his feet.  _ What games are you playing Claire _ , she thought and looked at Jamie. He was waiting for her next move and, honestly, she just wanted to run in the other direction, throw herself into his arms but she wasn’t about to make this too easy. He’d piqued her curiosity...how far was he willing to go to keep her here, with him? 

 

One more step and Jamie smiled. It took him four strides with his long legs  and he was was in front of her, both of them breathing heavy. Up close, he seemed even taller and as she tilted her head up, the look in his eyes was no longer sweet and earnest but raw and passionate, staring into her soul.

 

Jamie placed his hand on her hips, gripped her tightly and lifted her up.  _ Oh god , _ Claire looked down on his lips, she wanted him to kiss her. 

 

He walked slowly over to the bed, not breaking eye contact but still not kissing her. This was starting to get intimate fairly quickly, even though they hadn’t done anything. Claire felt partly embarrassed at the electricity that was already starting to race through her body.

 

Jamie laid her down carefully on the bed and he climbed after, they were so close, Jamie’s weight made the white box fall over. Claire couldn’t see what Jamie saw but his smile said it all.

 

“What?” Claire asked, almost panting. Pretty sure Jamie could feel how fast her heart was beating.

 

“I’m guessing that they thought we needed help.” Jamie reached out and took one of the items that fell onto the covers.  

 

Claire turned her head over, curious what he was talking about. The vibrator was shinny and new  and just the thought of him using it on her made the hair on her arms stand up.

 

“What else is in there?” Claire asked.  Jamie rolled away from her, she regretted it instantly.

 

The metal vibrator, one Polaroid camera and lube. Jamie took the camera and sat up.

 

“You know, I never said what I did for a living. ”

 

“No, you didn’t.” Claire said and sat up herself.

 

“Photographer.” 

 

“Oh really, I wouldn’t have guessed.” 

 

“And now I think I have the perfect muse.” He took a picture of her. Claire got self aware and looked away. Her navy blue dress made her feel exactly like the prude she’d told Frank she wanted to be seen as. . The photo rolled out and Jamie looked at  it.

“Stop.”

 

“Claire, you are beautiful.” He placed his hand on her chin, making her look at him. “I see you, and I say that you are alluring. Please don’t hide.”

 

“How many women have you photographed?” Claire asked, blushing at his compliment and wondering about the people he had worked with.

 

“I haven’t counted but more than a few.”

 

“And what kind of photos do you take?”

 

“Mostly portraits, Black and white.”

 

“And what are you planning to do with that.” Claire pointed to the photo in his hand.

 

“Save it.”

 

“Can’t possibly be something you should save.”

 

“Why not? I’m going to want to remember this night.”

 

“Give me that.” Claire held out her hand and Jamie gave her the photo. It was blurry. “That’s a bad picture.”

 

“Do you want me to take another one?”

 

“Draw me like one of your french girls Jack.” Claire said, first feeling stupid but Jamie smiled, obviously understanding her Titanic reference.

 

“Okay but if you dinna mind, lose the dress. I ye want me to play Jack, ye must be my Rose.”

 

“You are ridiculous.” Claire laughed.

 

Jamie took a step back and Claire got out of the bed. The tingling feeling returned. . Button by button she revealed herself. Jamie watched mesmerized. Claire felt braver than she had ever felt before. She stepped out of her dress and stood before him in her underwear. Jamie had asked her to take the dress off, but the way he looked at her only encouraged her to continue. She unclasped her bra and slowly dropped  her panties. He made a funny sound in the back of his throat and she watched Jamie’s eyes widen.

 

“Christ Claire.” Jamie said, gripping the camera harder. 

 

“Where do you want me?” Claire asked, the want in his voice suddenly making her nervous.  _ Why was she doing this? How could she resist?  _  The idea of someone like him asking to take her picture, , being naked in front of him, the delicious thought of him keeping it after, was making her wet.

 

“Oh, um maybe on the bed?” Jamie stuttered.  _ Is he nervous now?  _ Claire’s heart soared knowing that she had knocked this gorgeous, confident man off his game, and she started thinking about what it would be like to watch him-- no, make him fall apart.   

 

Never in Claire’s life had she been the daring one. Then again, she hadn’t ever  attended a swingers party either. She felt like someone else, no longer respectable, proper  _ boring  _ Claire Randall. She knew exactly where this was going, and vowed not to waste a single second of this incredible night. 

 

Claire moved further back on the bed until her back was against the headboard. She could already see the effect seeing her spread out on the bed was having on Jamie and it was making her mad with lust. Craving to see  him naked. She wanted him to remember her, remember this night for the rest of his life. She knew she would. Slowly, she spread her legs , watching his reaction as she inched them wider and wider. She heard the hitch of her own breath and felt the pounding of her heart. Jamie’s mouth fell open. 

 

“I dinna ken what I should do first.” He said low and Claire waited for him to take that damn photo, but he didn’t move. “You truly are a goddess.”

 

“What do you want me to do?” 

 

“Don’t you move!  No a hair, just like that, Sassenach, stay perfectly still. I wish I had my own camera, this shity thing can’t possibly do ye justice.”

 

Jamie took a step back and took up the camera again, trying to compose the ultimate picture of this moment.  Click. The photo came out and he placed it face down on the chair.

 

“Are you not going to look at it?”

 

“No.” Jamie’ sounded winded as he struggled to quickly unbuttoned his shirt, then his pants. His broad, naked shoulders was almost enough for her to go wild again.  _ Oh god,  _ he looked like he was carved out of stone, he was pure muscle. Claire’s eyes lingered on his boxers, she bit her lower lip again, anticipating the moment she would see  _ all  _ of him. His eyes never left hers as he slowly peeled  them off. 

 

Jamie’s had his cock in his hand and Claire watched him as he stroked his hand up and down. Claire swallowed hard as he quickly climbed onto the bed, crawling towards her. 

 

“I don’t want you to regret this.” Jamie said, his lips was mere inches apart from hers, giving her one last chance to end this. Him, laying between her legs, bracing his body weight on his arms, holding himself high above her. Not one inch of him touching her, yet her entire body was on fire, aching to touch him, to kiss him for the first time. How could he possibly think she didn’t want this? For god’s sake, she let him photograph her. She didn’t want to say how badly she wanted him out loud, afraid to say too much and instead of answering with words, she leaned her head up and kissed him. Jamie opened his lips to her and their tongues collided.

 

Jamie laid down beside her, his hands exploring her body. He lightly brushed the bottoms of her breasts and she could feel her nipples harden. All she could focus on was what he was doing to her. Jamie’s lips left hers and she moaned when the tip of his tongue met the tip of her nipple. It was a feather-light touch, but it was enough to send shivers through her body. 

 

An entire life flashed before her eyes, not the one she was living, but an alternative life, where Jamie was hers and she was his. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can thank Abby, she is the brilliant person who made this story end in the way it does. Keeps the story open for more and if I don’t, you can dream the rest ❤️❤️❤️❤️

“Get up.” Claire demanded and started pushing Jamie away from her chest. 

 

“What. Why?” Jamie answered fast, looking confused and worried at the same time.

 

“Just do it.” Claire smiled to reassure him. 

 

Jamie did as he was told and stood up naked by the side of the bed. Claire walked past him, giving him a nervous look. , What she was about to do was probably the most daring thing she’d attempted up to this point in her life.  

 

Claire grabbed the camera and took a deep breath. This was it. No turning back, not that she wanted to. Jamie looked intrigued when she turned around. 

 

“Do you want me to take another one?”

 

“Yes.” She breathed heavy, already turned on. Claire handed him the camera her fingers brushing against his. “Just to make  _ sure _ you remember me.”

 

“Sassenach, I promise ye, I will  _ never _ forget you.” 

 

Claire didn’t bother  to say anything more, afraid she was going to chicken out.  She gave him a seductive smile and slowly fell to her knees. Her hands were shaking, feeling all the excitement, the anticipation. She was staring at his hard cock  she licked her lips in delicious anticipation. God, he was magnificent. 

 

“Don’t forget to take the picture.” Claire said and looked up to Jamie, his eyes widened in surprise and he could only manage a nod in response. 

 

Claire wrapped her lips around his cock, tasted him for the first time, teasing with her tongue. Jamie started breathing heavier. Slowly, she took him, inch by inch, deeper into her mouth and he let out a groan. 

 

Claire could hear the click of the camera, if she could, she would have smiled. Instead, she started sucking harder, bobbing her head up and down and her hand took a tight grip of his ass. Jamie started making more sounds. She felt powerful and sexy. Their eyes met,  and the way Jamie was looking down on her, burning  _ for  _ her, made her feel even more turned on. 

 

This was the opposite how she felt with Frank, she never cared for his pleasure like this. But now she was actually aching on the inside, she needed-- no--  she craved, to find out how Jamie sounded when he came. Claire was using her tongue and fingers now, making him flex his hips in desire.

 

Sassenach," He choked out, camera at the ready. 'Look at me." Claire moved her eyes upwards, never stopping the movement of her mouth. "Yer so beautiful." He whispered and depressed the trigger, carefully pulling the photo out and then throwing the camera down as he took hold of her hair. Not pushing, just a firm steady rhythm and his shortness of breath told her he was close. She concentrated on sucking near the tip and swirling her tongue on it. “ _ Claire. _ .” It sounded like a warning and she increased her speed, taking a new grip, taking him further down her throat. That got him.  _ Release. _ warmth flooded into her mouth. He was groaning as she swallowed every last drop. 

 

“Claire.” He said her name again and slowly let go of her hair. 

 

“Do you want to take more pictures?" She asked, innocent and still on her knees.

 

Jamie’s eyes narrowed " _ Later _ . Right now, I want to touch ye. I want to feel ye, naked in my hands. I want to explore ye." He pauses for a second, two. "God I want to fuck ye!" His voice was deeper, more demanding.

 

Jamie lifted her up from the ground and almost threw her on the bed. Claire laid there waiting, wanting for him to run those beautiful hands all over her, wanting him to take her to heights she had never been to. 

 

Jamie climbed on top of her. "Oh my God, Claire, that was unbelievable." She felt his cock, to her delight, hard again, pushing into her stomach. They were both panting.

 

He pushed her hair aside, leaving her neck clear and kissed her softly on her collarbone. As he leaned down, his hands were running down her sides. His fingers teased  over and around the side of her breasts. 

 

His weight was on her, pinning her arms to her sides and she couldn't move. She loved that part of it.. She even started imagining him tying her to the bed. She imagined him, a stranger, holding her captive, immobile, taking her anyway he wanted to.

 

When he began to move his thumb in little circles over her clit she moaned out his name. “ _ Jamie _ .”

 

“I know I canna have ye tomorrow Claire, So I’m going to ruin you for every man that will come after.” He whispered and she gasped, her breath caught in her throat.   
  


Jamie started to kiss his way down her body and stopped below her bellybutton. Claire looked down on him, he grinned and softly kissed her flesh near her pelvic bone. 

 

When Claire felt his tongue for the first time, her body tensed up at first, but slowly relaxed again, she felt safe with him. Jamie licked carefully first, his tongue making circling motions to learn how she liked it. She started to squirm, it felt so good and he didn't stop. He just kept going. She closed her eyes. He gently started sucking on her clit making her moan louder ”Oh god .” 

 

“ _ Faster _ Jamie.” She urged him, and he did, snaking one of his hands up and under her bottom and lifting her up slightly, closer, tighter against his mouth.

 

Claire was almost there, she began bucking her hips up and down to increase the friction. Jamie’s tongue was performing magnificently and about to take her over the edge. Her body began shivering, then trembling and she grabbed his head and pushed him even closer. It was a moment of pure bliss. 

 

As her orgasm slowly decreased her mind briefly drifted off to wondering how many women Jamie had eaten, she was surprised that she was starting to feel jealous, wanting to be the only one. But she let go of that when felt a rush of cold air as Jamie pulled his face out from between her thighs. He was away from her for only seconds, but she already missed the warmth of his body. 

 

Her mind began to recover from its almost unconscious state of orgasm and she looked up to see Jamie kneeling over her. He smiled at her and she smiled back in return. He climbed on top of her again and suddenly the cold wetness between her legs was replaced by warm flesh. Jamie teased her, dragging his cock between her folds. 

 

He was waiting for her to say the word, give him permission. 

 

“I want  _ you _ .” She whispered and reached up to kiss him.  _ Do it now, don’t be gentle. _ The kiss said.

 

Jamie pushed himself inside her and he moaned. An overwhelming pleasure ran through her as he moved back and forth working harder and further inside. He grabbed one of her legs and slowly dragged it up his chest  kissing the delicate arch of her foot, swirling his tongue over her ankle, kissing the tender underside of her calf, nipping her inner thigh before finally resting it firmly up against his shoulder. Then he leaned down and kissed her. They moaned in unison. That brought him so deep inside her, made her feel so full of him. His face close to hers, they moved in unison, eyes looked.  _ God you are beautiful.  _

 

“More!” Claire demanded, needing him harder, deeper insider of her. After a few more thrusts it wasn’t enough for either of them. 

 

Jamie pulled out of her and turned her over to her stomach. “Sassenach, on yer hands and knees.”

 

Claire was struck at how easily he manipulated her weight. She knew he was going to fuck her from behind. Her mind drifted to how conservative Frank was and how he had never made love to her in this position. 

 

Jamie pushed himself into her. “Oh fuck.” he said repeatedly as he moved. Claire widened her knees and arched her back, then pushed up on her hands to accommodate his size. She wasn’t surprised at how good it felt and she could hear herself making noises that she couldn’t control. Claire lowered her upper body to the mattress and Jamie held his hands on her hips, fucking faster, harder. 

 

 _Oh shit._ Something cold touched her inner thighs _._ _Vibrations_. It took her about three seconds and she remembered the vibrator. How had she missed that he let go? Jamie leaned forward a bit and pressed it against her clit and she almost lost it right away. 

 

“Claire take it, touch yourself with it.” He ordered and that turned her on more. she took the vibrator from his hand and Jamie took a new hold on her hips, his hands were holding so hard she knew there would be bruises tomorrow.  _ Good _ , she thought something more than just a memory in her head. 

 

Claire could feel her whole body contract and the vibratior made everything more pleasurable, a scream escaped her lips when she came. Jamie never slowed down and It didn’t take long before he exploded inside her. She knew she was making too much noise but she could not stop herself as the pleasure waves continued to rock through her body.

 

When it was over he collapsed and rolled  next to her. 

 

Claire had completely forgotten about her husband, but now he was foremost in her mind, though not for the reason she would have thought. What would Frank say if he saw her lying naked with another man nibbling at her neck. What would Frank think if he saw another man's sperm seeping from her body down into a pool on the sheets. 

 

Jamie felt how she tensed up. “What is it?” He asked worried.

 

“I can’t believe we just did this.”

 

“Are ye regretting it?” He looked hurt.

 

“That’s the problem. I don’t.” 

  
  


-

  
  


It had been an unbridled night of carnal pleasure. Claire hadn’t thought it possible to feel so free in bed with someone who had been a stranger only hours before.  Now she felt replete, exhausted but calm, that deep sense of well being that only a night with a very good lover could make one feel. She’d delayed it as long as possible, but they had lives they had to return to. She wasn’t looking forward to finding Frank, to a long drive in stony silence, both having things to answer for. She still didn’t regret it. Not one single second of it. 

 

Jamie watched her with hooded eyes, he’d known this was coming and he was already aching with the loss of her. Yet, he’d promised her one night together, with no complications, no expectations. That had been before, before she’d revealed herself to be even more than he’d ever imagined. If he thought he was in love before, it was nothing compared to now, nothing would ever be the same for him. As she wandered around the room, picking up her things, drifting between bathroom and bedroom he saw her glance at the box again.  

“Take them, Sassenach.” He urged, her eyes held his for a moment and her cheeks flushed. 

 

“I don’t even know what else is in there.” 

 

“I dinna ken either but put everything in yer wee bag there and keep them.” 

 

“Why?” She asked, even as she realized she knew why and even as she started picking things up shoving everything into her bag, sight unseen. The things in that box had been meant for them, no one else. She couldn’t imagine leaving it for someone else to find...to use.  

 

“Because one day, when we meet again, you can show me what else was in there.” He stared at her intently 

 

“What if we never see each other again?” Claire was suddenly dreading the reality that lay behind their closed door.  “I don’t want to go.” She told him as she reached for the door handle looking back over her shoulder at him. He was on her again in a flash, grasping her hand before it could close on the handle and moving her against the wall. 

 

He kissed her soundly, pouring all of his feelings into the moment and she clawed at his still naked body, drawing him into her, closer and closer. Jamie shoved her panties aside and entered her. “Once more, I must.” He murmured. It was swift and hard and over in less than a dozen stokes. He left her shaking and raw, on the verge of tears but he kissed her gently. 

 

“I ken you must go back, to the whatever is waiting for ye on the other side of that door, back to your house, your life, your...Frank. That was our agreement, no? I’ll never forget you, Sassenach. And if you ever have need of me, even if its just to see what else was in that wee box of ours, all you need to do is call me. I’ll be right there.” He kissed her once more, pushing something into her hands as he helped her open the door, a last lingering squeeze of her hand as she crossed the threshold. Then he was gone. 

 

Claire’s eyes were blurred with unshed tears but she felt the hard square under her fingers and knew at once what it was. The picture he’d taken of them, heads together on the pillow, sated after a long night together. She didn’t need to see it to know what she’d find on it-- the look of two people as they fell in love. She pushed her hand into her bag, found the hidden inner pocket of the lining and placed the picture carefully inside, zipping it up for safekeeping. She dried her eyes as she walked down the long hallway and out into the sunshine. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess it didn’t end with the first party. And this story is only continuing because you guys, I hope you like this too. Thanks for the love. And thank you queen @abbydebeaupreposts for being my beta on this story again, ILU ❤️

**_Three weeks later_ ** _. _

_ Thursday _

“What’s that?” Frank asked, and Claire slowly closed the envelope she was holding. Frank looked at her with suspicion in his eyes and she couldn’t blame him for it, she  _ was  _ trying to hide it.

“Nothing.” Claire lied and walked away from Frank. The envelope was from Jamie. This was the first time he had contacted her since their night together after the swinger’s party. It contained a picture, and message written on the back of it. It was familiar, but she couldn’t understand why. But it pretty much summed up her night with him.

**_Floating, falling, sweet intoxication. Touch me, trust me, savor each sensation. Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in to the power of the music of the night. / J_ **

The picture was of her, naked on the bed and she looked happy and carefree. A far cry from what she was feeling right now. The three weeks with Frank had been horrible, they both knew something had happened that night at Clarence Sandringham but neither of them wanted to talk about it. It was an awkward tension between them.

Claire had cheated, and the worst part was that she didn’t regret it - no the worst part was - that she couldn’t stop thinking of Jamie, feeling certain that they were meant to be together. . What had started as a one night stand had become the most significant night of her life. 

But they were nevertheless strangers and married to others. The life they might have together wasn’t real. .

“Claire?” Frank shouted from the kitchen. Claire was upstairs, hiding the envelope from Jamie.

“What?” She shouted back. This was their life now, short tempered and distant conversations. She sighed and wished she had the power to erase those memories, to turn back to a time when she didn’t know better, where she had never met Jamie, and maybe she could have been satisfied with the life she had signed up for with Frank.  _ To death do us part. _

“Can you please come down here?”

“Just a second.” Claire took one last look at the picture and hid it in her underwear drawer. As if burying it under layers of satin and lace would shroud  the emotions that came with it. She had obligations, she had Frank and this too, shall pass with time, she hoped. The white box she had brought home from that night laid hidden in the same dresser, haunting her.

“What is it?” Claire asked when she joined Frank in the kitchen.

“How are you feeling love?” Frank turned away from the stove, the stew he was making smelled delicious. Claire  yelped in surprise as he drew her into his embrace and kissed her. It was pleasant that he was acting like his usual self again. But there was still something - someone- disrupting their relationship even if Frank was oblivious of whom.

“I’m fine.” Claire answered but it was disheartening. “How are you Frank?”

“Good. I’m very good.” Frank smiled, and Claire felt even more confused. They had barely touched these three weeks.  _ Why is he so happy all sudden? _

“It is your turn to pick out a movie for tomorrow.” Claire said in a tragic attempt to go back to normalcy.

“I know, but it was thinking..” Frank said and released her out his arms, he sounded nervous or maybe she was imagining it. “There is this dinner we have been invited to and I was thinking we should go.”

“What dinner?” She asked uncomfortable, knowing the last party she attended was a swinger’s party. She held her breath, waiting for the answer.

“It is more of a party. My coworker, Laoghaire Mackenzie Fraser, she has invited almost everyone from work.”

Claire’s heart stopped. Did Frank know that she had slept with Laoghaire’s husband? No, how could he know, he wasn’t even in the room when they paired her with Jamie.

“Are you listening Claire?” Frank asked, and Claire started blushing, she clearly wasn’t.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“I asked if you wanted to go? It is an  _ ordinary _ party, nothing fancy or so but only to celebrate.”

“What is the celebration?” Claire asked curiously. She heard how Frank emphasize that it was an  _ ordinary _ party, it wasn’t reassuring but she knew at least that she wasn’t going to be paired up again. Even if she wished she could be, with Jamie. But now, being invited to his house, to celebrate him and his wife, that wasn’t as up beating.

“I don’t know, she didn’t say. I have the invitation in my jacket. What do you think? Should we go?”

“Why not…”

“You sure?” Frank asked, and she smiled. She wasn’t sure, she shouldn’t want to go but the thought of just seeing Jamie again, it was hard to hide her feelings.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

_ Friday. _

Claire had missed that it was Samhain - Halloween and she did the best she could with the short notice and she had gone out early today to buy an outfit for herself. Frank was boring and said he was going as an old detective from the forties, not at all into the idea of couples matching and choose one of his old brown suits and just added a brown hat to match.

But Claire found a dress, probably way too expensive for the occasion but the black dress she had found was beautiful - long, lace, open in the front and back, revealing more skin than the blue one she had worn the last party. She tried to convince herself that she wore it for herself, but she wanted  _ someone _ special to notice her. To complete the outfit, she had bought a black lace mask, you could still see it was her, but it did the job.

Claire had however been surprised when she saw the beautiful invitation. But she guessed it was all for the best.

**_Welcome to Lallybroch._ **

**_Celebrating Laoghaire and James Mackenzie Fraser’s love in a masquerade party._ **

_ “ _ Ordinary, my ass.” Claire swore to herself irritated once again by her husband. A masquerade party was  anything but ordinary. In an odd way, she was relieved that the invitation said it was a celebration of their love, that only motivated her to stay on course, they were both married, they couldn’t be together. But then, she wondered why Jamie had sent the picture the day before?

In the car, on their way over to Jamie and Laoghaire’s home, Lallybroch, she was getting increasingly nervous, and her hand was sweating. She didn’t know what to expect of the night, Jamie had sent her that photo and he had taken the time to leave her a message, but it didn’t reflect on how he felt. They had bonded that night but maybe only in flesh and not soul. Maybe she had imagined it all, he only saw their night as a excuse to cheat.

Lallybroch was a beautiful place, Claire felt a sense of home as they walked up the stairs to the main door. Frank held her hand but instead of making her feel soothed, like they were together as a couple, it only reminded her of how she no longer craved Frank’s touch.  Her black dress did nothing to compliment his brown suit and she wished he had wanted to wear coordinating outfits. 

Frank rang the doorbell and she started to feel dizzy, wondering if it was too late to flee. She was out of her mind to be here. Not ready to face Jamie or Laoghaire at the door.  _ This was a bad idea. _

“Mr. and Mrs. Randall.” Laoghaire opened the door. She looked like a freaking movie star. Stunning silver dress and it was just a painful reminder of how much younger and more beautiful she was. “Welcome. Please come in.”

“Laoghaire, you look lovely.” Frank answered politely, and Claire wanted to run, but Frank ushered her into the house.

“I don’t think we have been properly introduced.” Laoghaire said, reaching out her hand to Claire.

“No, I’m sorry. I am Claire Randall.” Claire held her breath and shook Laoghaire’s hand.

“Pleasure in finally meeting Franks wife. I think ye met  _ my _ husband, James Fraser.” Laoghaire sounded happy, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I am Laoghaire.”

“Pleasure is all mine.”

“Come, ye can hang yer coats in there.” Laoghaire pointed to a closet and left them alone in the hallway.

Frank wrapped his arm around Claire’s waist when they stepped into a big room. It was deja vu all over again from the last party. People had taken this party seriously and everyone was dressed up. Claire felt that her dress no longer was overwhelming but plain as she saw how the women decked out in far more expensive dresses. Her confidence slowly dying away. 

Looking out - searching- Claire saw people in elaborate costumes everything from Queens, to knights to movie stars, and even jokers. It didn’t take long until she found the man she was looking for,  _ Jamie _ , he was standing with his back against them and clearly preoccupied for the time being..

“You really look beautiful tonight.” Frank said, interrupted her and once again surprised her with his affection. “Claire, I am so grateful to have you.”

“Thank you Frank.” She smiled. “You look dashing yourself.”

“I love you..” Frank kissed her before she could say it back. “Come, let's find you something to drink.”

The first hour, Frank held onto her the entire time. Like he was afraid she was going to disappear. The guests were mostly people from his job and she paraded around as his trophy being introduced to every single one. Claire tried to casually keep an eye out for Jamie, but he was always on the other side of the room, she could see that he was wearing a mask of a sort, but she couldn’t figure out what or who he was dressed as. It was frustrating how much she wanted to be with him, talk to him when she was in fact not his to begin with.  _ I need to stop this madness. _

“Frank.” Claire interrupted Franks boring conversation with his colleagues. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

“Alright love, come find me when you come back.” He answered, and he looked worried about letting her go. Maybe sensed that there was some threat in the room, someone who might undermine their relationship.

Claire slowly walked out of the big doorway and found herself alone in a corridor. She walked to the left, then up the stairs and she was glad to see that she wasn’t that far off, there were four rooms and one was clearly marked. 

Leaving the bathroom, she composed her mask and took a deep breath. It was a good distraction, but she feared her nerves were  even worse now.

“I wasn’t sure ye would come.” The man's voice startled her. She calmed down rather quickly when she saw that it was Jamie, leaning against the wall in the corridor. But that didn’t stop her heart from beating frenziedly. Seeing him for the first time up close she understood who he was dress as, the cape had been hard guess before but combined with the white mask, she knew - Phantom of the opera.

“I have thought of running away a few times since I arrived.” She admitted, blushing.

“Let me know and I’ll run away with ye.” He said, smiling but it was obvious he wasn’t making a joke.

“How have you been?” Claire asked politely and felt stupid for being so formal. But that was how it needed to be.

“Terrible.” Jamie took a step closer and Claire back away. “Did ye get my..”

“I did.” Claire interrupted him. “You should throw out the rest.”  _ Shit. Too cold.. _

“How have ye been Claire?” He avoided her remark on throwing away the photos and she almost melted right away as she found his way of saying her name, unbelievable and intensely hot.

“Ehm. I have been good, yes, very good. Thank you.” Claire was rambling, getting more nervous as he walked slowly closer to her. “And how are you?”

“Ye have already asked me that.” Jamie’s grin was wide, he saw what effect he had on her.

_ Fuck.fuck.fuck. _

_ “ _ Here.” Jamie handed her a red rose he had been hiding behind his back and her hands started shaking as she took it.

“Thank you Jamie.”

“Ye look incredible, Claire.” He stood so close to her now and she didn’t dare to breathe. He didn’t touch her, and she knew he wouldn’t unless she gave him consent. “I have thought of ye since ye left me in that room.”

“You have?”

“Aye.” He started whispering. “Every waking moment.”

_ Floating, falling, sweet intoxication. Touch me, trust me, savor each sensation. Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in to the power of the music of the night. _

That was why it was familiar; the message of the back of the photo was a quote from Phantom of the opera.

“Was your costume what inspired you to write the message?” She asked, whispering herself.

“Aye, ye told me it was yer favorite play.”

_ He remembered that? _

“Oh.” Claire was surprised, not only had he taken the efforts to get a costume he knew she’d like , but that he’d also learned the lines.

“Claire, I still want ye.”

But now they were crossing the line again. They were standing too close, he was already crawling under her skin but that didn’t change their relationship status, they are still married. To other people. 

“We can’t.”

“Are ye happy? With Frank? Ye weren’t the last time and I doubt that has changed.”

“I am invited as a guest to celebrate you and your wife’s love.” She replied annoyed, deliberately to press on his nerve as it had done with hers when she had read it.

“I didn’t print the invitation.” Jamie backed away from her, sounding irritated. “I only agreed to have this damn party and only then as I thought maybe I’d be able to see ye again.” 

“What do you want Jamie?”

“Love me - that’s all I’m asking of you” He was quoting phantom of the opera again, and it had the desired effect.  She wanted him, and she couldn’t seem to stop loving him, either. 

Claire looked into Jamie’s eyes, his own pleading, afraid of what she was going to answer.

“Wildly my mind beats against you, but my soul obeys” she quoted and kissed him.

His lips pressed hard against hers, his hands on her hips and they stumbled into the door behind her.

 

The room was dark, she couldn’t say what kind of room it was, but she didn’t care less about it when he pushed her against the wall. His hand rooming against the fabric on her dress, trying to find his way to skin.

“I like this dress, but I would prefer it off.” He found the zipper and on the side and her breast was exposed.

An uncontrollable lust for each other igniting instantly, telling her there never was any other outcome but this. Jamie’s index finger slowly began to follow the contour of her breasts, teasing her.

“Past the point of no return…” Claire said, and Jamie stopped kissing her.

“I don’t want to return to a life before ye. I hope you know that, Claire.” Jamie sounded serious and she needed to remind herself to breathe.

“What are you saying?” She said low against his lips.

“I’m saying I want this, I want ye.”

“So, you mean divorce our spouses?”

“Wasn’t that clear?” He said and kissed her softly, making her entire body shiver. “I have been watching ye since ye came. My heart breaking just watching  _ him _ hold ye, parade around with ye. I want ye to be mine, and no one else’s.”

“Is it really that simple?” Claire asked calmly. Reality slowly hitting her once again.

Claire looked into Jamie’s eyes, his own pleading her to stop whatever she was planning on saying.

“Maybe no’ simple but worth it, aye? What else can I do to prove to ye, that it is real, that what we feel is real.”

“This is only our second time meeting. Perhaps we are both just bored? ” She regretted the second she said it.

“Bored?” Jamie was offended but he didn’t shy away. Instead he kissed her exposed breast, nipped and sucked, using the wall for support as he practically ripped the rest of the dress off from her body. The lifting her higher, he quickly took one nipple into his mouth and suckled. Claire bit her lip, trying to hold back her moans when he hit a particularly sensitive spot and she gasped in pleasure.

 

“Oh, Jamie!” Claire moaned, incapable of holding it back.

“We are not bored, can’t ya feel this. They way ye respond to me, how our bodies connect to each other.” He said, his voice husky with desire.

 

“ _ Yes. Yes _ . I feel it.”

A knock on the door and both stopped moving, even breathing as the doorknob started moving. Locked.  _ Thank god. _

One more knock. “Jamie? Are ye in there?” Laoghaire muffled voice came from behind the door.

_ Fuck _ .

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nsfw. Hope you like it!

“James Fraser?” Laoghaire pounded on the door again. “I know yer in there.”

_ No. No. This can’t be happening. _

“What should we do” Claire whispered and tried to put on her dress again. Jamie looked nervous and her heart started beating faster with each fall of Laoghaire’s fist on the door.

_ Shit! Not good, not good. Shit!. I need to hide. _ Claire thought and tried to look around the room. With the bad lightning,  all she could see was a bed and a big wooden closet.  _ How cliche would it be for her to find me in the damn closet? _

_ “ _ We have two options.” Jamie whispered. “Come clean or ye hide under the bed.”

“I won’t fit under the bed” Claire hissed in panic   _ Would that crazy women ever stop pounding on the door?  _ “Maybe the closet?” Claire hated the idea, but she hated the idea of being caught even more. “We can’t..”

Jamie nodded, taking note of how uncomfortable Claire was getting. She picked her way carefully towards the closet, afraid the wooden floor would creak or she would trip on something unseeing and once Jamie closed the closet door behind her she was enveloped in total darkness. .

Claire held her breath and listened. She heard sheets ruffling and then footsteps, stomping excessively hard. Then the rasp of the bedroom door as it opened.

”What are ye doing Jamie?” Laoghaire demanded, the sound of her heels coming closer startled Claire.  _ Shit! Shit! Shit! Was she  _ standing right outside the closet door? 

_ “ _ I dinna feel well. My head was aching something fierce. I musta fallen asleep..” Jamie answered and even Claire could hear how desperate he sounded. He was a terrible liar.

“Asleep?” Laoghaire cried out. “How dare ye fall asleep tonight of all nights. Ye know how important it is to me Jamie.”

_ She actually believed  him? _ Claire wondered, shocked.

“I feel better, thanks for asking and yes I am ready to return downstairs. Come on, then hurry up, it’s such an important night for ye.“ Jamie sounded different talking to Laoghaire, not loving nor sweet. Instead there was a biting edge in his voice. How could he be the same man who was speaking with just moments ago? Claire felt sorry for Laoghaire and ashamed for what she was doing.

“Can ye please look like yer having fun. This party is for us and our love.” Laoghaire said, calmer and then it sounded like…. they were kissing.  Claire felt the bile rise up in the back of her throat.  _ What the hell am I doing? _

The sound of retreating footsteps, the muffled click as the door closed and then absolute silence. Claire waited until she was absolutely sure the coast was clear.

Claire ran back to the bathroom and fixed her dress and makeup until there wasn’t any evidence left of her doings. She took a deep breath and put on her mask again.

Down at the party again, even more guests had arrived.  _ They are here to celebrate their love _ , she thought, a painful reminder of who’s house she was at - theirs.

It didn’t take long before Frank found her and once again he had his hand on her back, guiding her through the room to introduce her to even more colleagues. Claire looked for  Jamie and found him smiling and talking to someone with Laoghaire clinging by his side. Even if he had sounded irritated with Laoghaire upstairs, they sure looked like the perfect couple now.  _ Seeing them together made her wonder anew who was being played? Her or Laoghaire?  _

 

“Claire, are you okay?” Frank asked. Claire hadn’t noticed how hard she was holding her champagne glass and she realized she was staring at Jamie.

“Oh, yes, I’m fine.” She tried to calm down and plastered on a fake and reassuring smile.

“Do you want to dance?” Frank asked, and she looked over to the big group of people dancing behind him, the music was dramatic and upbeat, and she wondered if Jamie knew how to dance.

“Yes, we can dance.” Claire risked one more glance at Jamie and this time he was eyes locked with hers. He smiled at her, but it faded when Frank took her hand and guided her over to the dance floor.

Claire wasn’t into ballroom dancing, she had two left feet. Frank knew how and was surprisingly graceful. But lucky for her, the music changed - to something slower - which didn’t require that she do much more than hang on to Frank as he guided them around the floor.. It felt awkward and stiff, and she looked everywhere except at her husband when they danced.

“Excuse me.” Jamie tapped on Claire’s back and they stopped dancing. “Mr. Randall, may I cut in ?”

Claire looked at Frank, he was annoyed and then she looked back at Jamie, whose attention was on Frank. He wore a smirk she wanted to wipe off his cocky face.  _ Shit! What the hell was he about? Did he want Frank to know?  _ But then Jamie turned to her with a huge smile, his eyes sparkling and when his hand touched hers she felt like she was going to faint. 

“If ye dinna mind?” Jamie raised his eyebrows in question, but Claire didn’t wait for Frank’s  approval, she took Jamie’s hand and forgot all about her husband. All her doubts disappeared for the moment.

“This feels risky.” Claire's arms wrapped tight around Jamie’s neck and his hands securely on her hips, and they were flushed together. Swaying back and forth in tune to the music. They fitted perfectly.

“Ach, dinna worry, I’m only doing what every other man here wants to do--  dance with the most beautiful woman in the room.”

“But when the host is dancing with someone who isn’t his beloved wife, on a night that is supposed to be celebrating their love, this looks strange.”

“I don’t care.” Jamie lean down to her ear and whispered. “I’m only celebrating this, to have ye here. In my arms.”

“Jamie. Please, people are watching.”

“I meant what I said before, don’t ye want me?”

“I do.” She answered, breathlessly. “But not like this.”

“Like how then? In secret?” His voice sounded cold, hurt. “I dinna want to be yer secret.”

“Says the man who practically threw me into a closet when we were nearly caught upstairs. ” Claire answered irritated. “And you are the one who has been giving your wife goo-goo eyes all night long! I at least have the decency not to pretend to be hanging on my husband’s every word. I want you, that hasn’t changed. But let’s call it like it is. I  _ am  _ your secret, Jamie, and you know it..”

“What am I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know, I really don’t. But for now, can’t we just dance as if we are living in a fantasy world. This isn’t real. Laoghaire and Frank can’t just be wished away..”

 

“No?” Jamie laughed in her ear the sound sending shivers down her spine. The song seemed to last forever. And damn him if he wasn’t right. For a few minutes they were not married, not committed to anyone but each other. Jamie brought her closer and she needed to force herself not to melt into  his chest. 

“Meet me in twenty minutes.” Jamie quickly said when the song ended. “Outside in the back garden.”

Claire blinked and then he was gone. She was Mrs. Randall again.Wandering the room, Searching for Frank. 

 

Claire saw him standing the corner of the room with a young brunette. The woman was half his age, pretty and was dressed as a nurse, slut edition. They were in an intense argument and Claire walked over to them.  _ Maybe he didn’t see me dancing with Jamie? _

“Claire, meet my assistant. Sandy.” Frank said, and the woman, Sandy smiled, looking uncomfortable.

“Hello, I’m Claire Randall.” . She didn’t even know he had a new assistant and she was surprised that Frank had mentioned it. But she was relieved that Frank probably had been preoccupied.

“Nice to meet you.” Sandy answered, then she turned back to Frank. “Mr. Randall I’ll see that your files will be at your desk at Monday morning. Please excuse me.”

_ Of course he is talking about work. _

 

“Have you met Laoghaire’s husband before?” Frank asked. Claire held her breath and nodded. “There are rumors at the office. That he is cheating on Laoghaire. He is a photographer, he is surrounded by beautiful models all the time and then sleeps with them.Charming though he may be, he’s a bit of a man-whore.”  

 

_ He takes pictures of landscapes and portraits.  _ Claire corrected in her own mind. Nice try Frank, points for subtleness but you don’t know a thing about Jamie.  While she didn’t believe Frank, she still found it strange that there were rumors at all.

“Everyone!” A female voice echoed loudly in the room and Claire turned to see what was happening. Laoghaire was standing on a chair, talking into a microphone and Jamie was standing beside her. “As you all know, I am celebrating my four-year wedding anniversary.” 

_ Fuck. Is it their anniversary? _

“We want to thank everyone for coming and we have a special game for you all to play.” Laoghaire said and everyone cheerfully applauded. Jamie seemed surprised.  _ Maybe the garden is out now  _ She thought.

“The rules are simple, Go outside. There ye will get a map. This is a treasure hunt my friends. The first one to find the hidden treasure will be the winner.”

_ Definitely not a good idea to go to the garden now. _

People started walking out of the room. Frank grabbed her hand, dragging her along. The hallway was crowded, and somehow Frank disappeared. Outside there were about sixty people and Claire sighed when she got her map.  _ Bloody kids game. _ She didn’t want to play, but then again, she didn’t care to go find Frank, either . She needed to breathe and found herself sneaking away from the crowd. Backing in the other direction.

Everything was going straight to hell. Was she his mistress now? A middle aged woman who was the interloper-- the  _ other woman in an otherwise solid relationship?  _ Hers was long gone, that was clear. She didn’t even care that Frank had an attractive assistant, that said it all. Jamie wanted her, he was willing to leave his wife but how would he want that? Laoghaire was beautiful and creative; this damn party was magnificent, and she had taken the time to make this silly game honoring their special day. 

 

Claire felt frustrated, walking further and further  away from the house. She was surprised to find the street ended at the edge of a lovely wooded trail. A cozy bench was placed by a big oak tree.  _  Strange place to have a bench.  _ She thought but she sat down, feeling more peaceful now that she was away from her troubles and she placed her mask beside her.

After sitting alone with her thoughts for a while, Claire saw Jamie walking towards her. She had no idea how he could have found her there, but it didn’t matter. She needed to end this.

“Didn’t you want to play?” She asked him. He reacted immediately on how cold she sounded. He kneeled before her. 

“I don’t know what Laoghaire is doing and no, I dinna want to play any games.”

“I suppose it’s just hitting me now that here we are, on  _ your _ anniversary. What the hell  are we doing? This is so wrong Jamie.”  

 

To her surprise he started laughing. 

“It’s not our anniversary, she just wanted an excuse to have this party.” Jamie answered. “We got married in February, not October. Two years ago, Laoghaire told everyone her mother was dying of cancer so she could change a trial date and buy her client more time to cover his tracks. When her boss gave me his condolences I wanted to tell him the truth but she begged me to go along with it.”

 

Claire blinked at him. 

“Well,either way, this has gone too far. We can’t be dancing or making out in your house. This need to stop.”

“I agree, it needs to stop.”

“Oh.” Claire didn’t think he would agree with her this easily. And perversely she felt betrayed.  . But it was all for the best.

“I dinna mean  _ we _ should stop Claire.” Jamie took her hand in his and felt the pulse point at her throat, beating wildly against his thumb. It was dark enough that she didn’t think anyone would be able to tell who they were . “I meant I needed to stop living a life built on lies with Laoghaire. After the party, I’m telling Laoghaire that I want a divorce. I’m ending it. I only want ye.”

“You know, there are rumors about you.”

“What rumors?”

“That you are already cheating with all those hot models you take pictures of.”

“Who the hell said that?” Jamie asked irritated. “That’s a lie.”

“Frank told me after our dance.” Claire answered. “That you sleep around.” 

“Do ye believe him?” 

 

“You slept with me, didn’t you?” 

 

“Oh, aye.  And I took yer picture, too. So that’s it? Ye think I fuck everyone?”

“No, I don’t know. ”

“Don’t know she says.” Jamie got up from the ground and started speaking to himself. Claire watched him, at first he looked angry and then his face slowly relaxed and he looked sad. Extremely sad and she wanted to comfort him.

“I don’t believe it Jamie. I’m sorry.”

“Ye are the only  _ one _ . I have never cheated on Laoghaire before I met ye. The fact that ye dinna t believe me breaks my heart,  Claire.”

Claire reached out to cup his chin, his eyes were  pleading for her to take it back, to know his heart as he knew hers;  and she did. She never doubted it before, why had she allowed that evil seed planted by Frank start to grow? 

“I do want you.”

“Good. Cause I love ye, Claire.”

“You do?”

“Isn’t that obvious lass, been saying it over and over again.” Jamie smiled and leaned down. “Will ye have me? Will ye choose me over Frank?”

“ _ Yes _ .” Claire closed the distance and kissed him.

Claire raised her head up and looked around, they were still alone. She daringly grabbed his hand and led him down the path into the trees.  

 

“What are ye doing?” Jamie asked breathless, though he was catching on quickly. 

 

“Just a little further,” Claire urged. But Jamie’s patience had worn thin and he grabbed her, pulling her into his arms and kissed her again. He grunted when Claire pushed him back against a tree, 

 

“Don’t move.” She ordered reaching for his belt buckle and deftly working it free. .

“Here?” Jamie asked amused. 

 

“Shut up.” She told him, pushing his pants down past his knees and kissed him fiercely. Three weeks she had dreamt  about him, there was no way she was leaving Lallybroch without being with him once more.

“Wait.” Jamie grabbed her by her wrist, stopping her from taking off more clothes. “I need to hear ye say it back. I need ye to be sure of this.”

“I am sure Jamie, I want this, and I want you. Today and tomorrow. Every day.” Her heart was pounding and she was out of breath, she had never been surer. She wasn’t his mistress, nor his secret - they were soulmates.

Love is unexpected, the heart wants what the heart wants. This maybe wasn’t the ideal way of falling in love, but nevertheless she was sure it was love that she felt  for Jamie. The consequences were that she was hurting Frank in the process, but right now, Jamie was all that she saw. Her heart only wanted him. It was inevitable, they belonged together.

“I don’t want anyone but you.” She said in a low whisper. 

Jamie kissed her lips softly and his tongue found hers, his hands finding his way under her dress, pulling up the fabric to gain access. His hands were cold, and she squeaked when fingers dipped inside of her panties and he smiled against her lips, she was wet.  _ Oh god.  _ Then they were moving in a franzie once more, both panting. She  moaned softly when he slowly circled her clit. Then he moved his hand faster and more urgently. She reached down and grabbed him, stroking him, up and down. His cock hard in her hand.

She needed him inside her. Now.

“Claire, ye are driving me mad.”

“Someone will wonder where we are soon.” She kissed him again. “Do it now, and don’t be gentle.”

“Ye will be the death of me, love.” he said with a smirk, looking up at Claire as he bent down to pull off her wet panties.

When Jamie rose up again, he lifted her long legs around his waist and turned them so  her back was against the tree. Her hands gripping tighter around his neck. Jamie pushed himself inside her in one powerful thrust. Both of them simultaneously moaning in pleasure. He filled her completely and his hands were holding onto her body as she rocked against him with each thrust, wanting more. Each push was deliberate, slow and hard. Her body pulsed in tune with hs. .

“Mmm.. Jamie..” She moaned, and a grin spread across Jamie cheeks. On the next move, a chuckle escaped him.

“Christ, You are out of this world, Claire.” Jamie increased his speed, fucking her faster. Her back scraped against the rough tree bark. Her thighs started to quiver, and she needed to bite her bottom lip to stop herself from screaming, they couldn’t get caught now. The smacking sound of his cock sliding inside her was making her more turned on. Her body was on fire and she couldn’t feel the cold anymore.

 

“I’m going to come, Jamie.” T

“Ah, God, yes, I’m… I'm almost there too.” He groaned. “Take yerself there, Claire, please.” Claire slipped her hand between them and fingered her clit . She hung suspended between Jamie and the tree as she arched tight as a bow and then every inch of her body flooded with warmth. Jamie’s head pressed hard into hers, as her orgasm washed over her.

“Ahh! Jamie!” Claire couldn’t hold it in, screaming out his name as she came, and Jamie held her hips still, watching her before he was overwhelmed, with one final rock of his hips he poured into her, then collapsing against her neck. 

“I guess I won the treasure hunt.” Jamie joked. “Yer my price.”

“You are ridiculous.” Claire laughed, and he kissed her again.

“I mean it, I canna think of a better prize then to win yer heart.”

-

To not be too obvious, Jamie had left the forest first. She hadn’t been able to find her panties again, it had been to dark. Jamie gave her his shirt to use as a wipe, thank God. Yet she was still very self-conscious of the wetness on her inner thighs as she walked back without her underwear. Still, her timing was perfect, as everyone else was just beginning to head back inside the big room. 

Someone Claire hadn’t seen before, an older man dressed up as Dracula was standing next to Laoghaire and Jamie, waving an envelope in his hand.

“I guess we have our winner.” Laoghaire said in the microphone and everybody started applauding. “Here dad, ye get to read out what it says.”

The man, opened the envelope and started reading quietly for himself and then he burst out in tears. Laoghaire was smiling but Jamie looked confused.

“Ladies and gentlemen.” Laoghaire’s father had taken the microphone. “I really am the biggest winner tonight. Let me read to ye. It’s says; Congratulations on finding the treasure, in a few months we will have a treasure of our own, we are expecting.”

The crowd went wild, and Claire froze.  _ She’s pregnant? _  She turned to look at Jamie, he was staring back at her. He looked shell shocked.There was a commotion in the kitchen, Claire glanced up to see Sandy walking briskly down the hall, coat and purse clutched tightly to her chest. Then suddenly Frank was at her side, asking if she was ready to leave. 

 

One last pleading look from him and she smiled sadly in farewell. 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has taken me so long to actually write this and it didn’t turn out as I had planned but I think it’s an appropriate ending. Thank you for reading and being so patient. 
> 
> @purpleheatherdream was AS ALWAYS so amazing and supportive as beta.

Saying that  Jamie Fraser had done awful things in his life  and made mistakes  was an understatement. Who ha s n’t? But Claire Randall wasn’t one of them. She wasn’t a mistake. 

 

Claire was the most authentic person he had ever known, the realest thing in his life. What he felt for her was pure and beautiful. 

 

The  very  second, that very fucking second Laoghaire had announced her pregnancy- his world collapsed and tumbled  down . For better and for worse. 

 

Jamie had always wanted children,  it  had been a dream of his for a long time. But that dream didn’t involve Laoghaire, not anymore. Their marriage had been nothing but cold and filled with arguments for the last year and he was planning on leaving her. He truly was. But could he leave her now? When she was pregnant with his child? 

 

_ No _ .

 

Maybe it didn’t matter what he thought or wanted. It was pretty clear that Claire was done and wanted no part of this.  And why would she?

 

The way Claire had looked at him- right before she disappeared out of his life,  wearing a  sad smile  with  goodbye written all over her face...

 

It was over.

 

_ Claire _ .

 

——

 

**Two weeks later.**

  
  


Standing by the window, Jamie held his phone  tightly against his ear. He had been a coward  before , but he was finally brave enough to call her. Call Claire.

 

_ Don’t be Frank. Don’t be Frank. _

 

Jamie only had Claire’s home number. It was a risk, Frank Randall could easily be the one to pick up. 

 

“Randall.” A man answered. 

 

_ Shit. _

 

“Mr. Randall, this is James Fraser,” he finally said. “Is Claire there?”

 

“Why do you want to talk to  _ my _ wife?”

 

“It's a medical reason,” Jamie lied.

 

“If it is urgent, I suggest you turn to someone else, my wife isn’t available.” 

 

“It’s not, I can wait. Just tell her to call me.”

 

Frank quickly hung up and Jamie exhaled deeply. He felt like an idiot. _Medical reason?_ That was so stupid. What if Claire thought he was calling because of Laoghaire and her pregnancy. _Fuck._

 

Claire didn’t call back that day.

 

——-

 

**Four weeks later.**

 

He never heard back  from Claire and out of respect, Jamie didn’t call her again. But he thought of her, every single day. 

 

He missed her terribly. His heart aching with the loss  of her .

 

They were still strangers  in some ways , but he felt like he had known her his entire life. Maybe they were soulmates? Because his soul  felt like it knew hers.

 

They had found each other by chance. The odds were so small, yet they  still met.

 

All  the time  lately , Jamie felt bad, conflicted, and ashamed. He was expecting a child. This was supposed to be the greatest time of his life. But it wasn’t. He tried to focus on the good parts, th e fact that he was becoming a father, but Laoghaire was shutting him out. She wouldn’t even let him attend any doctor appointments-  or let him know anything.

 

She was pushing him away. 

  
  


**Ten weeks later.**

 

Laoghaire’s belly was finally starting to grow. Jamie had been suspicious— wondering if Laoghaire was even pregnant. He felt like an id iot for even thinking it. 

 

The first signs of her pregnancy finally showing actually had been unexpectedly joyful  for him . But it ended  just  as fast. Laoghaire wouldn’t let him touch her. 

 

“I don’t feel comfortable  like this, please don’t touch me. I’m not a  petting  zoo animal.” Laoghaire had said when he tried.

 

Laoghaire started sleeping  in a nightgown, something she had never done before.

 

He had no idea why she felt so uncomfortable  while being pregnant, he always had thought women loved it. But what did he know? 

 

**Fourteen weeks later**

 

Nothing  in his life  was joyful anymore. Not even his job. He had lost his inspiration to photograph- his muse was gone. 

 

His marriage was falling apart. He tried, he really tried to be a  good  husband to Laoghaire. Told her she looked beautiful, glowing even, as she was carrying his child.

 

It was like talking to a wall. Laoghaire had changed  and  was irritated and stressed all  the time. He wondered what he had done wrong? There was no way she knew about Claire. 

 

Why was she acting like this?

 

The days ended quickly, and at night he dreamed of Claire only to  wake up crying. Fourteen weeks  were filled with  missing her. 

 

He counted the days and as Claire was fading  further  into his past and falling further apart in his memory , the baby’s due date became closer to his present. He wanted time to stop- didn’t want to forget a single thing about Claire but at the same time, he wished for  time to go faster. 

 

Jamie said he loved Claire that night in the garden.  _ I love you still,  _ he thought and almost cried.

 

Would he ever move on?

  
  


**Twenty weeks later.**

 

_ That was when Jamie saw Claire for the first time since the party. _

 

Jamie sat restless in his car, waiting outside the hospital as Laoghaire had her doctor's appointment. He still wasn’t allowed to go  in  with her. It was infuriating and disappointing. He was the father, he had rights  did n’t he?

 

Suddenly, coming out from the hospital doors a familiar woman appeared just a few feet away from the car park, from him. Her beautiful curls were let down and he couldn’t breathe at first. 

 

_ Claire. _

 

It was as  if he had seen her yesterday. All the love  he had for her  instantly came flooding back, everything he had tried to suppress just exploded, and then that was when he saw it. 

 

_ Claire was pregnant. _

 

That stopped Jamie  from doing what he desperately wanted to do, which was to rush to her and beg her to talk to him. 

 

_ Claire was pregnant.  _

 

Jamie felt so  pathetic, he should have been happy for her but he wasn’t and couldn’t stop himself from crying. Somewhere deep in, he  still had a dream of leaving Laoghaire and asking Claire to have him, even if he had a child  with another. . But now, she was pregnant too,  but  with Frank ’s child . 

 

Karma  was cruel . 

 

Jamie watched Claire  as she  stood by the entrance, waiting for someone.  _ Probably Frank.  _ He thought bitterly. He wasn’t allowed to feel like that, but he  did .

 

There was something different with how Claire looked compared to Laoghaire. Both pregnant but still it looked so different. 

 

God, Claire was even more beautiful that he remembered. She really  _ was _ glowing. It was so inappropriate but he, just for moment, pretended that Claire was his,  and that  the baby she carried was his and life was amazing. He imagined them laying in bed, caressing and whispering loving nonsense to the baby. 

 

It was a moment of peaceful bliss but at the same time he felt ashamed for  having it. Why couldn’t he let her go? 

 

A car pulled up and Claire jumped in. The beautiful life he had imagined left him feeling empty.

 

She was gone.

 

Again.

 

———-

 

**Twenty-two week later**

 

A close friend of Laoghaire ’s had planned a surprise baby shower. 

 

It  was hours of games and baby stuff. The whole house was filled with women and Jamie felt misplaced and tired. The only reason he stayed was because Laoghaire was seemingly happy. It had been so long since he  had seen her like that.

 

He sat by a table filled with pink and blue baby stuff and drank some kind of lemonade, that mostly tasted  of  sugar and nothing else. Two women sat beside him,  and  he wasn’t sure who they were. Probably coworkers to Laoghaire.

 

“Did you hear about Frank Randall?” One woman said to the other. 

 

That got his attention. 

 

“No what?”

 

“His wife left him.”

 

_ Claire left Frank? _ He thought and became more interested in their gossip.

 

“What? When?”

 

“Oh it was months ago. But that’s not the most interesting thing.” The woman started whispering. “His wife was pregnant.”

 

“What about it?” The other woman whispered back and Jamie could barely hear them.

 

“Frank is  _ sterile _ . There is no way it’s his.”

 

Jamie’s world stopped. 

 

He couldn’t hear the woman anymore.  He couldn’t hear anything.

 

Claire was pregnant. Could it be his? 

 

What the hell? Two pregnant women, both carrying his children? One was the love of his life and the other a heartless woman who seemed to hate him  yet was his wife.

 

Without knowing what he was doing, he started walking out  of  the room,  then out the front door and into his car. 

 

He was going to find her.

 

Find Claire.

 

He needed to know. 

 

——-

 

Claire wasn’t listed as Randall anymore, but by the last name  _ Beauchamp _ . One more  piece of evidence  that they had divorced. 

 

Jamie’s heart was beating so fast and hard as he walked towards the door  of Claire’s apartment. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say or do. But he needed to know the truth. But honestly, he just longed to see her.

 

He rang the bell.

 

_ Please be home. _

 

It took quite some time but then, finally, the door opened and Claire just stared at him. 

 

Neither of them said a word. They just looked at each other. The emptiness he had felt suddenly felt  bearable . L ike he was l ess alone.

 

Jamie looked down  at her belly,  seeing that  she was definitely pregnant. 

 

“What are you doing here?” Claire finally spoke.

 

“I—um— needed to see ye.”

 

“Why?” She sounded nervous as well.

 

“Can I come in? I don’t want to do this here.” 

 

Claire nodded and walked into her apartment. Jamie took off his shoes in the hallway,  left them inside the door, and then followed her into her kitchen.

 

“You want something? Coffee?  Tea ? Water?” 

 

Christ, she was so nervous. Just as  nervous as he was .

 

“Claire.” Jamie said softly. “Is it true?”

 

“What is?”

 

Standing in middle of the room, Jamie dumbly pointed at her belly,  unable to speak.

 

“Just ask what you want to ask,” she  insisted and sat down by the round table. 

 

Jamie took a deep breath.

 

“Is it mine?” His voice was shaky, emotional. “Are ye carrying my child.”

 

“Would it make a difference?” Claire couldn’t look at him, she just stared down at the table. She sounded so sad, just as empty as he had been and still was  without her .

 

“Aye, it will change everything.”

 

“She is also pregnant, your  _ wife _ .”

 

“Please, just tell me.”

 

Claire looked up, tears in her eyes. 

 

“I’m pregnant with  _ your _ child, Jamie.”

 

It was like the air had disappeared from his lungs, he almost collapsed to the floor. Standing with unsteady legs,  he bent his head and  started to cry. 

 

“Why didn’t ye tell me?”

 

“It didn’t seem right. I got myself into this and I didn’t want to ruin anything.”

 

“How—how could ye possibly think ye would ruin anything. Claire, it was already ruined before  I met  ye.” Jamie looked at her. “By everything I am, I am yours. I would have always been yours.”

 

“Jamie- it doesn’t feel right. She is your wife. She hasn’t done anything to deserve what we have done.”

 

“Laoghaire doesn’t deserve it, yer right. But do we?”

 

“Do we what?”

 

“Deserve to live unhappy  and spend the rest of our lives connected by this beautiful child  of love  and never be able to be together?”

 

“I—I left Frank, the day after the party…” Claire said. She sounded proud and Jamie felt the same, but at the same time he  wished that he had been as brave, to not stay and live in a loveless marriage. 

 

Jamie sat down in front of Claire by the table. 

 

“I never wanted to—“ Claire continued. “I mean, I knew you wouldn’t leave Laoghaire...”

 

“I should have left her.” Jamie answered. “I tried to call ye and Frank answered, he never said  that ye had left so I assumed ye stayed with him and wanted nothing  to do  with me. I waited for ye to call...”

 

“And I waited for you.” Claire sounded so sorrowful. “But when week after week pa ssed , I realized that we only had a fling, a dirty affair, and that was it.”

 

“How can ye say that?”

 

“Because it partly was.”

 

Jamie reached out and grabbed her hand and held it tenderly in his.

 

“I love you.” Jamie said, feeling nervous as he did. But he wanted to say  it out loud to her, again, for so long.

 

Claire looked into his eyes, tears starting to run slowly down her cheeks, but she didn’t speak. Didn’t say it back. 

 

Twice he had said it now.

 

“I love you.” He said again. Louder this time.

 

Claire opened her mouth to speak, but then she closed it again.

 

He felt defeated.

 

His words only rang true  to  him.

 

“I want to be involved with this child,  **_our_ ** child.” Jamie said quietly. “I wish things were different, but I will respect yer wishes and only hope to not be left out of his or her life.”

 

Two children, possibly born around the same time by two different mothers. 

 

“I should have told you and I am sorry that I kept it from you. You deserve every chance to know this child and I will let you.”

 

The words— _ Thank you _ \- felt wrong to say,  so  Jamie only nodded in response. He felt heartbroken.

 

They sat in Claire’s kitchen in silence. 

 

“Maybe I should go.” Jamie finally said. He didn’t want to leave, but why should he stay? 

 

“You don’t have to…”

 

“Do ye want me to stay?”

 

Claire placed her hand over her belly and started massaging it, her hand going over it in slow circles. 

 

“Claire? If ye want me to stay, ye need to say it and why.”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Claire was always surprising him, in good and bad  ways . But she also had been so damn frustrating and still was. She never w ould or could just admit how she felt.

 

“I don’t want you to leave.” 

 

Some sense of relief poured over him. 

 

“Then I’ll stay.”

 

“I’m so tired.” Claire said. “Can you just stay with me for a little while? I know it’s too much, but I don’t want to be alone right now.”

 

Jamie nodded. He felt conflicted again. He didn’t want either Claire or Laoghaire to be alone, to go through this without him. But he couldn’t split himself in half. What was he going to do?

 

They walked into Claire’s bedroom. She didn’t bother turning the lights on. 

 

Laying in Claire’s bed together,  they were  both fully clothed and a far distance from each other. It was dark and so quiet. 

 

“I don’t know what the future holds…” Jamie said. “But I hope ye know  that I always will be here. For you and the baby.”

 

“And Laoghaire?” Claire asked. “Are you going to stay with her?”

 

Jamie thought about Claire question for a long time. He was unhappy with Laoghaire and he was pretty sure Laoghaire was unhappy with him as well. He stayed because of the baby and she probably did as well. 

 

“No.” Jamie finally answered. “I’m not going to stay with her.”

 

“Why? Is it because of me?”

 

“No.” Jamie quickly answered. “It’s because of me. It’s time I finally do what’s right. Laoghaire doesn’t deserve to live like this and neither do I. Life will never be easy, especially not for us, all of us. But if you, Claire, can live on your own, we all can. I thought I was doing the right thing, staying with Laoghaire and providing for her. But it’s not. I’m not doing it right.”

 

“You did what you thought was best, that’s what matters.” Claire said softly, sympathetic and kindly. “You are a good man, even if you made a mistake.”

 

Mistake. Claire was referring the herself as a mistake.

 

“You are  **_not_ ** a mistake.”

 

“What am I then?”

 

How many times could Jamie try to convince Claire? Even if they broke so many vows by being together, it wasn’t a mistake.

 

“Do  _ you _ regret it?” Jamie asked  her  instead. “Am I a mistake  to you? We were brought together by fate and then once more by fighting against the odds. It wasn’t something we wanted at first,  but  neither did we choose it. How is it  that  you blame yourself for what happened when it was was beyond  our control? .”

 

“I chose to sleep with you.”

 

“Aye.” Jamie answered and wanted to explain to her that he didn’t mean sex, he meant how they fell in love.

 

“But I didn’t choose to love you.”

 

Jamie felt his heart breaking.

 

“But I do.” Claire said quietly. “I love you, Jamie.”

 

Jamie closed his eyes for a second. The three little words he had wanted to hear  so bad  had finally been said.  _ She loves me. _

 

“How come you said it now?” Jamie asked. “Why not earlier?”

 

“Because I didn’t want my feelings towards you to be the reason why you left Laoghaire, I wanted you to take that decision for yourself.  So you‘d do it for you.”

 

Jamie rolled to his side  so he was facing Claire and smiled at her. 

 

“Ye are the most stubborn woman I have ever met.”

 

“Yet.” Claire smiled back. “Your daughter may be even more so.”

 

_ Daughter. _

 

“It’s a girl?” Jamie suddenly felt warm th throughout his entire body. From his ears down to his toes. He hadn’t yet been able to  truly understand that he was becoming a father, Laoghaire had kept him in the dark, and now Claire brought him into the light again.

 

Claire took his hand and brought it to her belly. He smiled shyly and waited. Jamie had lived with a pregnant women for weeks, for  months, but he never got the chance to be part of it. He caressed Claire ’s belly slowly  marveling that it was harder than he had  imagined and his hand felt cold in comparison to Claire’s warm skin.

 

_ There _ , a small movement. The baby ’s little kicks met his hand.

 

“Did you feel that?” Claire asked excited. 

 

“Aye.” 

 

It was the most beautiful moment in his life. 

 

——

 

A few hours later, Jamie stood in his own bedroom at Lallybroch. He had been with Claire until  he came home . 

 

Of course with the knowledge of Claire carrying his child, he was more determined to do what he hadn’t been brave enough to do before. Tell Laoghaire the truth.

 

He was prepared for the worst and thought it was best to already have a bag packed in case Laoghaire thr ew him out immediately, not that he would blame her, it was her right. He had cheated. 

 

Laoghaire and Jamie had two closets in their bedroom. His was the smaller of the  two and Laoghaire's, of course, was massive. Not only did she store all her shoes and clothes,  but  her closet was also where they stored their bags and suitcases. 

 

Even with him being so tall, he still couldn’t reach his black bag on the top shelf. He took a small step back and then jumped. 

 

He caught the strap of the bag and pulled, it was maybe  not  the smartest idea, because not only did his bag come falling down, but everything  else  on the shelf came crashing down, landing first on his head and then down on the floor next to him.

 

_ What is that? _ Jamie frowned and held  up a— he didn’t know what it was.

 

The soft and white item looked like a broad belt, like a stuffed pillow belt. It almost looked like a…

 

Jamie stopped breathing for a second, then he slowly looked down on the floor and saw two more belts, just like the one in his hand. They were bigger. Wider. Fuller.

 

He didn’t know what they were called, but he at least understood what the purpose  of  them was.  _ Faking a pregnancy. _

 

Millions of questions started  flying around in his head. Laoghaire wasn’t pregnant?

 

His gut had been f illed with nothing but  worry  when it came to Laoghaire and her pregnancy. How she was acting so strange and how he wasn’t allowed— not even once— to see or even feel her belly. 

 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

 

Jamie bent down and picked up the  other two fake stuffed bellies. He laid them on the bed and just stared at them.

 

Was he insane? What if he accuses Laoghaire and this was  just some strange sleep belt for pregnant women? He had no idea.

 

“Jamie?” Laoghaire was home. “Where are ye?”

 

_ What to do? What to do? _ Jamie had a slight-- alright-- he had a massive panic attack. 

 

Jamie heard Laoghaire’s heels echoing  as she was walking up the stairs.  There were minutes left before she would find him. He took a deep breath and exhaled hard.

 

“I’m in the bedroom.” 

 

The door was  already  open and Laoghaire walked in. Her belly was almost as big as Claire’s had been. It looked real. Laoghaire  _ really _ looked pregnant.

 

Laoghaire immediately noticed the— whatever fabric item it was— her face just went pale.

 

“Why are ye going through my things?” Laoghaire asked, she sounded irritated. 

 

“Can ye explain what this is?” Jamie answered and felt his temper rising in tune with hers. 

 

“It’s—it’s nothing.”

 

“What do ye do with it?” 

 

“I said it’s nothing.”

 

“I dinna believe ye.” Jamie argued. “Laoghaire, are ye… are ye even pregnant?”

 

“Of course I am.” Laoghaire was getting more defensive and angry. Just proving  that  she was hiding something. “Just because I…”

 

“Prove it.” Jamie interrupted. “I want to see it for myself, because I haven’t seen you without clothes in weeks. I’m so confused and need to see that you are speaking the truth. Lift up yer sweater”

 

“That’s ridiculous.”

 

“No, it’s not.” Jamie dreaded the truth now. “Each second of ye arguing instead of just showing me, the more I’m starting to doubt ye. Please, Laoghaire, just show me.”

 

“My body, my decision.” 

 

Jamie sat down on the bed and just shook his head. Laoghaire refusing to show him only proved that his wife had been lying. 

 

“I have cheated.” Jamie said and looked at Laoghaire. If she didn’t want to speak the truth, he would. Someone had to acknowledge or just talk about how bad they were together. “I cannot say anything that excuses what I did, it’s unforgivable and I know it. But I want to be honest.  _ Someone _ has to.”

 

“When?”

 

He was surprised that Laoghaire only asked when and not who or why. 

 

“The swingers party.”

 

They hadn’t discussed what had happened at her boss party. The party he never wanted to attend and Laoghaire convincingly forced him to. Where he met Claire.

 

“I’m sorry.” Jamie apologized, maybe for nothing. “I would never  _ intentionally _ hurt you. But I did anyway and for that I’m sorry.”

 

“Why are ye telling me this?” Laoghaire asked, cautiously. Did she feel that it was over soon? 

 

“Because I can’t continue to live like this. We haven’t been happy in years… in  _ years _ Laoghaire.” Jamie said. “I found someone and it’s not fair  to anyone and I know I’m the biggest jerk on the planet but I can’t help but long for a life that I can’t have with you. Because we ended a long time ago.”

 

“I still love you?” 

 

“And I will hold ye in my heart.”

 

“Yer just going to leave yer pregnant wife?” Laoghaire snapped. “For what? Some wicked bitch? I don’t think so.”

 

“She is pregnant with my child.” Jamie admitted. “And I don’t think ye are.”

 

Laoghaire stood in front of him, her arms crossed and it looked like she was debating with herself. Jamie was already sure, so sure, that she wasn’t pregnant and probably never had been. 

 

“I’m not leaving ye because of her, I’m doing it for myself.” Jamie said. “We all deserve to be happy.”

 

“Don’t think yer moving her into  _ my _ home.”

 

Jamie rolled his eyes, of course Laoghaire only cared about the money. Still, he was surprised how calm he was for once. 

 

“This house has been in my family for generations and shall continue to stay like that.” Jamie said, still calm. “Lallybroch is yours, if you just lift up yer sweater and prove to that ye are pregnant, Laoghaire.”

 

“Otherwise ye give it to  _ Claire _ ?”

 

Jamie fell silent, so Laoghaire had known about Claire? He was sure he hadn’t mentioned Claire by name. 

 

“How long have ye known?”

 

“Since the morning after the swingers party.”

 

Jamie couldn’t believe it.

 

“I only took ye there as a test, Jamie, and ye failed miserably!” Laoghaire said with disgust. “I wanted to hurt ye, as ye have hurted me.”

 

”What the fuck are ye saying?”

 

Laoghaire slowly lifted her sweater up and beneath there were almost an identical f ake pregnancy pillow strapped around her body. She wasn’t pregnant  and h ere was the evidence.

 

“This….” Seeing what he had already figured out was way worse than just believing it. “What kind of sick person are ye? This was all for revenge?”

 

“No.” Laoghaire unhinged the fake belly and threw it away. Jamie looked at her stomach, it wasn’t flat. “I really am pregnant.”

 

“Wait? What?”

 

“It’s just  _ not _ yours.”

 

The situation only became more messed up.

 

——-

 

Jamie sat in his car for awhile, he still hadn’t gotten his head around about what just had happened. Laoghaire was pregnant, but it wasn’t his. She had tried to hide the fact that she wasn’t as progressed as he had thought. Just twelve weeks, not twenty-five as he had believed. Whoever the father was, he didn’t care and didn’t stick around long enough for Laoghaire to tell him. 

 

Jamie gave Laoghaire two days to pack her stuff.

 

He hadn’t worn his ring in days and now he would never wear it again. The thought made him feel lighter. His whole future felt  bri ghter.

 

The next obvious step would have been to just go to Claire. Tell her everything. But he needed to just stop and breathe  for a bit .

 

Their relationship had started with cheating  on  their spouses and ended with them finally being able to be together. 

 

He only needed to go to her.

 

_ Claire wants me, _ Jamie reminded himself, that she had always wanted him but she only needed him to chose her because of love, not obligations. Leave Laoghaire because he wanted too and now he had.

  
  


——

 

It was late, way past midnight and Jamie was afraid Claire had fallen asleep. He debated  with himself for a minute or two, but in the end, he knocked on the door. 

 

“Hi.” Claire smiled as she opened the door, wearing a robe that was too small for her belly. 

 

So adorable.

 

“Hi.” Jamie smiled back.

 

“Didn’t think I would see you  again this soon.”

 

“Can I come in?”

 

“Yes. Yes. Of course.”

 

Jamie closed the door behind him. 

 

“What’s going on?” Claire wondered, shyly. She looked so beautiful.

 

“I thought…” Jamie took out his keychain and held it in his hands. The spare keys to Lallybroch. “I have always dreamed of raising my kids at Lallybroch. But I have a new dream.”

 

“What’s your new dream?”

 

“Just to start over.”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“This is the spare key to Lallybroch and tomorrow I’m giving it to my sister, Jenny.”

 

“Giving what?”

 

“Lallybroch.”

 

Claire ’s eyes widened in surprise.

 

“I left Laoghaire.” Jamie told her. “I understand if ye don’t want to rush  into  anything, but I’m all yours. For real this time.”

 

The silence  that followed  made Jamie nervous.

 

“You have always been mine.” Claire stepped closer and closer until she was in his arms. “I just didn’t know it until I met you.”

 

“So, does that mean you want this? Want me?”

 

“Nothing will stop us now.”

 

Jamie dropped his keys and they fell to floor  as  he placed his hands on Claire cheeks, smiling as he did so. He  bent his head down, his lips slowly and lightly met hers. It had been so long since they kissed and he melted into her. It had  all  started with the rustling sound of keys in a bowl  and  now  was ending with the metal sound of his keys landing on her floor.

 

_ They were set free. Free to love each other. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think ❤️
> 
> @bonniebird17 on tumblr .


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